You slept through Halloween, Mike. That's OK, you can celebrate double next year. Today the big news was that this morning you got a tracheotomy as well as a more permanent line for dialysis inserted in your neck. When you wake up you will have to spend some time becoming reacquainted with your new body which is thinner, scarred in various new places, and unfortunately has also become much softer with loss of muscle tone. Many people have talked to me about the length of your recuperation, physical therapy, perhaps learning to walk again. This is all to be expected after lying in bed for so many days. Apparently you have lost over 30 pounds. Seriously, Mike, this was not the best way for you to lose weight! Also, you have been on an anti-fungal I.V. drip... it is making your toenails (which have always been icky) look a little better now. Again... this was definitely overkill to get the nails taken care of.
You officially missed the whole month of October in the outside world. I am so sorry for that. I would have liked to spend this month with you doing the "normal" things. Tomorrow is the Day of the Dead. Remember last year that we went to downtown Riverside and looked at all of the altars with the kids? I would like to be out around town looking at interesting things with you, watching people celebrate, joining in the festivities, looking at the memories of loved ones layed out for all to remember - even those who never met those souls on earth.
Your sedation is turned up today, as well as your morphine. I got a couple of momentary eye-openings from you, but no focus or awareness of your surroundings. You couldn't do anything "on command" like blink etc. Your surgeries required that you have more pain medication, and I certainly do not want you suffering. At the same time, I long for you to become awake, alert, open your eyes, look at me, mouth words, perhaps move enough that you could write a note or point at letters.
The kids were at Amber's house today. We got there and had lunch with them, then I went to be with you. They got along well and had a fun day, they even made pine-cone bird feeders like I remember making when I was little. Did you ever do that when you were little?
Miranda and Mauricio are driving down tonight and they have to go back to the Bay Area tomorrow. They should be arriving around 2:00 a.m. - the futon is ready for them.
I left and came back, and now it is November 2nd, not the date when I started typing... what can I say? I am so glad that you are ALIVE Mike. This day is not for you. This Day of the Dead will have to be for the other souls who've gone before... but you are not ready to join them, and I am not ready to let you go there. I love you. Goodnight.
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