mike's pneumonia chronicles #2

On Friday morning apparently Mike's heart was beating at about 170 beats per minute... this is very dangerously fast. Also, he was delirious and he pulled his oxygen mask off. He insisted that he was not a patient, that he was in a college play, and said other confusing things that made it clear he was not distinguishing dreams from reality. When I came in and saw him in ICU he said all of those crazy things... then he started to try to get up out of bed. He was forced to use a bedpan which he didn't want. He was mad that we were making him stay in the bed, and he was bound and determined to get up and use the bathroom. His nurse (Roberto) who is an absolutely wonderful ICU nurse, yelled at him, "Michael, if you get up you might have a heart attack." I helped keep him from pulling off his oxygen and IV's for about 15 minutes or so. Then Mike had to have a chest x-ray in the bed, and when he was lifted to be positioned for the x-ray he tried to "make his escape." He kicked, hit, yelled and flailed about. Many people rushed in and restrained him, gave him a sedative shot, and I was there seeing his color go to purple. He was seriously lacking oxygen. I believe I saw the number 68 on the monitor, but I could be wrong. It was a very hectic struggle. They sedated him then intubated him.

While on a ventilator, Mike's stats improved. His lung x-rays were unchanged even after having IV antibiotics since Monday, but later in the day on Friday and on Saturday, the positive note was that his vital signs were stable. The numbers weren't all good... still his heart was beating too fast, but there was a definite sign of improvement on Saturday and Sunday: his oxygen was continuously turned down. He started at 100% and they were able to gradually reduce it each day while his blood oxygen level stayed OK. They got it down to about 35% on Sunday evening, and his blood O2 was staying at 97 to 100. Room air is about 22% O2, so it was conceivable that he could get off the vent within a day or two if he started breathing a little more deeply regularly. When he took a breath, the ventilator pushed in a "whole" breath. He needed to do more of the inhaling by himself.

During all of this... I was a mess. Starting back on Thursday 9/25, I called in sick for myself for the first time and visited Mike in the regular room. I also took myself over to urgent care to be checked since I had a bad head cold. They confirmed that it was just a head cold, but gave me a shot to alleviate a tension headache I had had for several days running. They also vaccinated me against pneumonia and prescribed something to help me sleep. My mom came in the evening to watch the kids while I went to "Back to School Night" at my high school. She then spent the night and helped me Friday a.m. (I was still out sick and still had a bad cold). We got the kids to preschool, then went to see Mike. My mom was there and also saw him before he was intubated in ICU. She stayed at the hospital with me most of the day on Friday. She didn't have the energy to stay the night again, so I was going to do Friday night alone, but I was very overwhelmed with all that had happened that day. I called my friend from La Leche League (Becky) and she came over and helped me get the kids to bed and stayed with me in the evening for awhile.

On Saturday morning my aunt and uncle Jackie and Fred came out to pick up Joey and Julia to stay the day with them. I went to the hospital where (after seeing Mike started on the vent and feeling desperate) I started to feel hopeful because Mike's color looked better and he opened his eyes and looked at me a few times. He seemed to be aware of people in the room and he would roll his eyes open and look at me if I called out his name. Unfortunately, he would also get a cough and look very miserable coughing silently into the ventilator (still restrained to the bed.)

My sister Brenda gave me a massage on Saturday afternoon. Boy did I need that! At the beginning it just made me cry, but then it just started to alleviate the tension all over my body. After the massage, I picked up the kids and we had dinner with Jackie, Fred and Brenda. My friend Laura was in town and spent the night Saturday. She had seen Mike on Sat. afternoon and came to my house for the evening. Then she helped me with the kids on Sunday a.m. and we all met down at the ICU with the Quakers (Inland Valley Friends Meeting) where Mike, the kids and I are regular attenders. This was the first (only) time I had Joey and Julia at the hospital. That was agonizing. They had to be held back screaming in the waiting room while I went in to see Mike with half of the dozen or so people who came to see Mike and hold him in the LIGHT. The other half came in with me for the second round of visiting Mike. I felt hopeful and optimistic. I keep trying to be hopeful and optimistic.

Setbacks are horrible. I was devastated on Monday morning...

On Monday a.m. I decided to go in to see Mike in ICU instead of going to work. I was so overwhelmed on Monday and the kids were SO DIFFICULT to get dressed etc. that they had me totally frazzled. I couldn't even pack them a lunch, and they went to school without breakfast. I told the teachers at their preschool and they were more than happy to help me out by giving the kids something to eat. They have all been praying for Mike and very loving toward me. I dropped their lunch boxes off at their grandparents' house and they were happy to make lunches and drop them off for the kids.

When I got to the hospital, the doctors were all in a discussion circle around Mike's x-rays and they "swarmed" me, someone said "there she is." I was so scared. What had happened????

Mike suffered a setback... a pneumothorax or "collapsed lung." This meant that there was a hole in his lung that was allowing air into the area between the lung and the sac surrounding the lung. That membrane blew up like a balloon and put pressure on the lung so it just collapsed under the pressure. I signed a consent, and they went right to work inserting a chest tube to alleviate the pressure and re-inflate the lung.

OK... I'm updated up to Monday morning. I will write more tomorrow. I'm too tired... Wednesday is now officially over so I will write tomorrow. Just quickly: as I write, Mike has been chemically put into a paralysis because his oxygen level is too low even on 100% oxygen now. Ok... goodnight.