The doctors sat me down (emphasize the word "SAT") to talk today. Mike, you are in really bad condition. You have that darned hole in your lung and it is a problem because they can't push air too hard with the ventilator because they could blow the hole bigger. They have to get enough oxygen in for you to have O2 in your blood, but only about 10% of your lung capacity is working... and they can't force the air there because it prefers to fly out the hole instead. There's liquid in there that they can't get out... GOD I am praying for a miracle. I am praying for time, because time heals wounds. I am praying for miraculous recovery, even if they are just baby steps in the right direction. I have been devastated by the "talk" preparing me for the reality of the gravity of your condition, and I am really a mess. My aunt Marilyn was there with me today, then aunt Jackie & uncle Fred, then LaTesha and Vanessa took care of the kids tonight. They got them to bed before I even came home. LaTesha is spending the night.
Mike, you have to hang on because Cyd is coming to see you now. She'll be here on Saturday. We are finally meeting, and she is so worried about you as we all are. Today was your 12th day on the ventilator.
During the day, Jennifer was your nurse. She looks like princess Lea. That was the first time I met her. You have a really nice night nurse tonight - his name is Paul. I met him tonight when I was there with Jackie and Freddy to see you for over an hour. We noticed your knees were really rough, so they are all lotioned up now. (you're welcome). I have been putting lotion on your feet every day so that when you wake up they will be as soft as a baby's butt.
What can I say? My eyes are sore, my body aches with fear, and I am clinging to hope. There is hope. As long as you are still alive, there is hope that you will survive.
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